[April]

Please, don't take this thread as any sort of insult... or any attempt to hurt feelings or to cause some huge drama fest. I just ask that if you're reading it, try to read with compassion and understand where I'm coming from with these thoughts.

I see a lot of posts here where maybe someone shows off a new pair of jeans and makes a disclaimer comment like "please excuse my huge butt" or "please don't laugh at how big my thighs are" or "I know I don't do these jeans any justice"

And that makes me feel bad... like that person feels for whatever reason that they're going to be harshly judged here.

I see other posts where the central theme is making extraordinary fun of brands that are not considered premium or designer. While on the one hand, I do understand that this forum is focused on the discussion of designer brands... why does it have to also be at the expense of "regular" brands that don't cost as much for consumers?

I have never felt ashamed of myself to go out in public wearing Old Navy or Levi's. I used to go downtown (um... when I was younger :rofl ) and I would wear tops from Wet Seal or Charlotte Russe or Hot Topic.

It was all that I could afford at the time, being in college full time and working full time to pay for school and also to support myself. I felt comfortable in those clothes and I felt like I looked nice. Later, when I got a full time "real" job... my very "nicest" most designer suit came from Express and the best shoes I could afford came from Dillard's and were never any major designer... and were usually bought on sale. I shopped at Ross and in department store sale racks.

I could not afford Macy's or Bloomingdales... Saks, Nordies, NM, etc...

Later... I started doing much, much better financially and started shopping for my work clothes at Anne Taylor, Banana Republic, Macy's, Bloomies, etc... still, I sought out sale... but it was nice.

I wasn't any better a person though. There have been ups and downs for me... probably for a lot of people. Since there have been, I started spending more of my money on things that would help me become financially secure... money market accounts, IRAs, and a 401K... I spent my Roth IRA on the downpayment for our home, since it was my first home purchase.

That's just me... even with all I did to build myself a good starting point, we've still hit a roadblock... trying to start 2 new businesses and all the traveling my husband has to do. It is again a hard time.

As I read through some of the threads... I feel bad for people. I feel bad for those who either can't or do not want to afford designer pricetags.

I feel bad for the way judgement is passed. I feel bad about the attitudes regarding what is attractive and what is not (whether it is the person themselves or what the person has purchased or likes to wear).

I see disclaimers on threads "well, this isn't premium, but somehow it doesn't suck"...

It just makes me feel bad... that's all. I hope this has made sense and that its clear it isn't a personal attack on any specific person... I couldn't even say who made what comment, usually I don't even look... I just see them. Often.

 

[nnnola]

i'm sorry..but i'm getting really tired of you!

:shake i read about half of that and thought :bsflag
here you are AGAIN.. creating drama.

 

[BabyJ]

:IDK Premium denim/designer items forum.

 

[April]

i'm sorry..but i'm getting really tired of you!

:shake i read about half of that and thought :bsflag
here you are AGAIN.. creating drama.

This isn't any attenpt to create drama... I was hoping maybe someone would read it and consider what the intention behind it was...

There are a lot of things I do not get about the forum here.

Maybe I don't belong here... but I don't like the idea of throwing the baby out with the bathwater, ya know? There is a lot of good. A LOT of good. These were just some observations.

I know that I am not alone on these thoughts... maybe they could be considered.

 

[April]

:IDK Premium denim/designer items forum.

Agreed... and understood, I just believe that certain things can be celebrated without coming at the expense of other things.

 

[fosterzmom]

I don't see where you are coming from, April. I post pictures of myself in Walmart tops all the time and nobody passes judgment on me! I'm sorry you feel that way, but I believe that the folks at AF are all about looking cute the cheapest way possible. In fact, there's a thread right now wherein a Mod is looking for Levis (hey, Joan!).

As for the big butt comments, we can't do anything but make a person feel better about her arse. I know that I will look in the mirror and see a ginormous ass no matter how small it is. And whenever I post booty shots, there are always tons of compliments that follow it. That's what a group of friends is supposed to do--make a person feel good about his/her appearance.

Maybe you are feeling sad about our culture in general?

 

[idalis]

I challenge you to find me a single thread where someone's appearance was commented on negatively, that was not by a jerkoff troll who was summarily lashed

 

[Hera]

we have shits and giggles fests? over walk-a-wear? naw

seriously if someone wasn't into premium or couldn't afford it...then how did they find us? they had to have run a search or bought premium on ebay.

I dont think i can google gap and find this site.


To be honest I can give a rats butt what you want to wear or anyone else, and I do not recall anyone pointing out a person in specific and saying you dont wear XXXXXXX clothes, and make them feel unwanted......I am what I am , I wear what I wear.:IDK

 

[Hera]

I challenge you to find me a single thread where someone's appearance was commented on negatively, that was not by a jerkoff troll who was summarily lashed

please I insist....i was typing mine when you replied, i just cannot recall anyone ever doing that???

 

[April]

I don't see where you are coming from, April. I post pictures of myself in Walmart tops all the time and nobody passes judgment on me! I'm sorry you feel that way, but I believe that the folks at AF are all about looking cute the cheapest way possible. In fact, there's a thread right now wherein a Mod is looking for Levis (hey, Joan!).

As for the big butt comments, we can't do anything but make a person feel better about her arse. I know that I will look in the mirror and see a ginormous ass no matter how small it is. And whenever I post booty shots, there are always tons of compliments that follow it. That's what a group of friends is supposed to do--make a person feel good about his/her appearance.

Maybe you are feeling sad about our culture in general?

I saw that thread The one about Joan looking for Levi's :love

I definately notice that a huge deal here is talking about and sharing where you can find the very best deals, coupons, etc... I think that rocks.

Maybe it IS a little about culture in general.. but there is a lot of it here also. An example I can think of is... say there is a listing on EBay and it is posted here and the listing has fake jeans in it (or fake something... I saw it in a handbag thread once before... a while ago). If there is a person in the listing, the focus quickly turns to how ugly/unacceptable/lame the person is.

It does remind me of society in general... to a degree. I don't recall such harsh judgements since highschool though and maybe that's just because I never paid a lot of attention in college (to what people were discussing outside of my core group of friends, I mean)

 

[Linds]

April, I do not judge you at all for what you have said.

I myself have never been able to afford very expensive things. I was always into fashion even as a kid but like you, I managed to get by looking good while wearing clothing that wasn't overly expensive. As I got older i discovered designer jeans and other premoum forms of clothing and I have to admit, I was hooked.

But that isn't to say that I do not buy cheaper clothing. I love to shop at Target for clothing. In fact I just recently bought the cutest dress shirt at Delia's (sp) that I have been getting complimented on. It was cheap, it looks cute, and it fits me quite well (I am very petite and i often need to wear juniors clothing).

Some great advice that I heard once was that women should have a few staple items in their wardrobe that are "expensive" and then they can pair these items with less expensive yet still fashionable items.

And I admire you for investing like you have. I am 24 years of age and I can honestly say that the best thing my parents taught me in my life was saving and investing. I recently got a job that offers excellent benefits, and in addition to my private investments I now have some excellent work related benefits.

I also agree that we need to be confident in ourselves when we post pictures. I know that we have had discussions about this before but we come in all different shapes and sizes. Everyone on this forum understands that and we celebrate our differences. I admit I am very shy when it comes to posting pics of myself, however no one is here to judge so we should all feel comfortable posting pictures without worry about negative judgement.

 

[luvapup]

i'm sorry..but i'm getting really tired of you!

:shake i read about half of that and thought :bsflag
here you are AGAIN.. creating drama.

WORD!


Nola :rock:thumbsup:bowndown

 

[Dojoqueen]

I saw that thread The one about Joan looking for Levi's :love

I definately notice that a huge deal here is talking about and sharing where you can find the very best deals, coupons, etc... I think that rocks.

Maybe it IS a little about culture in general.. but there is a lot of it here also. An example I can think of is... say there is a listing on EBay and it is posted here and the listing has fake jeans in it (or fake something... I saw it in a handbag thread once before... a while ago). If there is a person in the listing, the focus quickly turns to how ugly/unacceptable/lame the person is.

It does remind me of society in general... to a degree. I don't recall such harsh judgements since highschool though and maybe that's just because I never paid a lot of attention in college (to what people were discussing outside of my core group of friends, I mean)

Human nature, April.

I have been a member here since December, and I have never seen anyone insulted for wearing non-premium anything. Joan was just saying don't laugh...no one would have anyway.

Nola, :bowndown here too.

 

[Dojoqueen]

I challenge you to find me a single thread where someone's appearance was commented on negatively, that was not by a jerkoff troll who was summarily lashed

...and walked away with his tail between his legs, I might add...:magwink

 

[April]

I challenge you to find me a single thread where someone's appearance was commented on negatively, that was not by a jerkoff troll who was summarily lashed

I don't know where to find a specific one, but there are a lot of apologies about how people look (I mean -- when they post a picture of themselves). Granted... that might be because they are in fear of being judged not because they are on AF, but because of how they have been dealt with in the past elsewhere... I don't know.

The thoughts I posted... really -- they have a lot to do with what I have seen here, but not completely. I think the only time I have seen people specifically insulted regarding how they look is if a listing has been posted and a person is inside of it "modeling"

Granted... I find it somewhat amusing, just the idea of it... but there are near identical pictures posted in the members pictures threads... posing the same way... just being silly, or showing some personality and everyone loves it (as they should). Its just that it seems people are not judged on what they actually do -- but perhaps who they are and whether or not they are liked/popular.

I hope that makes sense.

 

[nnnola]

This isn't any attenpt to create drama... I was hoping maybe someone would read it and consider what the intention behind it was...

There are a lot of things I do not get about the forum here.

Maybe I don't belong here... but I don't like the idea of throwing the baby out with the bathwater, ya know? There is a lot of good. A LOT of good. These were just some observations.

I know that I am not alone on these thoughts... maybe they could be considered.

this is absolutely an attempt to create drama. you don't fool me for a minute.
that's pretty much all you've done since you got here..

 

[Dojoqueen]

I don't know where to find a specific one, but there are a lot of apologies about how people look (I mean -- when they post a picture of themselves). Granted... that might be because they are in fear of being judged not because they are on AF, but because of how they have been dealt with in the past elsewhere... I don't know.

The thoughts I posted... really -- they have a lot to do with what I have seen here, but not completely. I think the only time I have seen people specifically insulted regarding how they look is if a listing has been posted and a person is inside of it "modeling"

Granted... I find it somewhat amusing, just the idea of it... but there are near identical pictures posted in the members pictures threads... posing the same way... just being silly, or showing some personality and everyone loves it (as they should). Its just that it seems people are not judged on what they actually do -- but perhaps who they are and whether or not they are liked/popular.

I hope that makes sense.

Apples and oranges. In the members section, we're showing OUR jeans. On ebay, someone posing in those jeans are now FUTURE MY jeans, and I don't want their bended over/looking like they're gonna fart butt in them..that's why we rip on them somewhat. It's a preference thing.

 

[fosterzmom]

I saw that thread The one about Joan looking for Levi's :love

I definately notice that a huge deal here is talking about and sharing where you can find the very best deals, coupons, etc... I think that rocks.

Maybe it IS a little about culture in general.. but there is a lot of it here also. An example I can think of is... say there is a listing on EBay and it is posted here and the listing has fake jeans in it (or fake something... I saw it in a handbag thread once before... a while ago). If there is a person in the listing, the focus quickly turns to how ugly/unacceptable/lame the person is.

It does remind me of society in general... to a degree. I don't recall such harsh judgements since highschool though and maybe that's just because I never paid a lot of attention in college (to what people were discussing outside of my core group of friends, I mean)

I would believe that would be for SELLING FAKES! Right?

 

[April]

Please... as moderators of this forum, at least set an example. There isn't any need to post "rock on" emoticons and make false accusations about me.

If you want to discuss or don't understand where I'm coming from... just ask. I'll do my best to either re-explain or clarify. I don't understand at all why people are not given the benefit of the doubt.

You don't have to agree with what I have said... and that's ok, because all that I posted was my opinion and frankly, I learned a while back that my opinion is not really at par for this forum. I have learned a lot ond been treated well by MANY people... and greatly appreciate many of the things I have learned -- aside from trying to learn about authentic denim, I also have learned a lot about my dog :rofl

Just don't assume the worst about people... if it's possible that maybe I was posting sincerely and with compassion... then assume that I was, rather than assuming I wasn't.

 

[avatar]

1) this thread fucking sucks

2) I haven't seen anyone comment negatively on appearance or outfit EVER here. I actually feel AF's comments are often insincerely positive. You're full of shit and TLDR.