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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
EDIT! (I deleted my post because i was irrational and scared!) In summary..i was eating a lot of something that was supposed to be 0 kcals only to realize the company had an announcement that infact it was another amount and basically id been eating an extra 600+ kcals a day without realizing it! I started eating this product a less than a week ago and had gained 3 pounds in a couple days when i have had so much trouble gaining and so i was shocked! I know i need to gain but i like to control it healthily.. Anyways! Im glad i know what the cause was and that i dont need to feel like i have to cut back on my intake (which, in all honmesty is still lacking)

I am slowly learning a lesson and i appreciate the reality shock! Grr to 0kcal 'free' food! FREE food is BAD food! :)

This is a good thing!

<3 -xoxox-
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
^^Thankyou darlin'.. Im happy i know what was causing it (and all my issues with BP and pulse) So dangerous! Bloody products that LIE! psshh! FDA rules, my ass!
 

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Weight fluctuates a lot throughout the day so 3 pounds is completely normal.
The flavored foam has only 350 calories per can, so this is not something that will lead to significant weight gain just by eating a can a day for a week, especially since you already seem very careful about what you eat.
You say you want to be "in control" of gaining the weight, but it seems like any gain in weight makes you feel out of control. Maybe this is a sign that the extra cals are doing you good.:magwink
 

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I'm glad you figured it out, but I'm also glad you were getting some extra calories. It's awesome that you're trying to gain weight - I saw your pic in the platinum thread, and while your face is gorgeous, you'd look amazing with some more weight on you. Good luck, Zee! Hopefully you can keep going in the right direction and put some more weight back on. :) :hug
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
^^Thankyou! Made me smile <3

I was proud of myself gaining from 102 to 105 and was trying to stick to 105 until i could build the courage to take another leap but when i woke up at 107/108 i felt crazy because id changed nothing in my diet and it just did not make sense as id been 105 for a while..

As for 350 a can..i think its more than that for sure.. I used to eat the soywhip which was 10 kcals a serving and 30 servings (300kcals) and the can was like half the size! So.. I just dont know!

either way. Im glad i am handling the gain well, just like to know that it is because of a healthy intake.. I know no matter what i will struggle with any gain but knowing it was so sudden with no extra effort is really scary for me. This week i actually was taking it easy because of some extra sttress in the family so it really was a big shock considering.

Also, i never really fluctuate and if i do, typically its downwards so to fluctuate 3 pounds up up up was definitely a shock!

Thankyou for your comforting words.. I know im silly.. Im workin' on it ;) xoxox
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
5'8..Was 5'9 a few years ago but i shrunk somehow! :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Aww thankyou, that was sweet of you. Im really trying! I am a lot stronger and better at dealing with the anxiety..lolcats helps ;) hehehe! xoxox
 

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I shrunk too because of my anorexia...I was 5'4 when I graduated high school and I'm barely 5'3 now!
And I had a similar freakout about the 0 kal cooking spray a few years ago, so I can relate.
Keep it up...recovery is worth it, and I honestly don't think I could think clearly until I finally achieved physical recovery (weight restoration) as well as recovery from most symptoms. It's not easy, but with time you will find you are more fully alive as a recovered, whole person.
 

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Zee, do you feel better since you gained a few pounds? Really 102 scares me at your height. I thought you were 109? You will be ok, we love you for you, not your weight.

Edit-What is it that you were eating?
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
^^Hey love! I do not feel noticably better but really that is because this month has been really trying for me because i am facing a shit load of fears and im exhausted! I am also trying to get my weight back up, slowly.. I was 109 when we last spoke but i increased my intake and lost weight because of my metabolism.. 102 is so stupid and i hate that i let myself fall to that but regardless, i am trying to gain and have done a little by little.. I just have to make sure its slow for a variety of reasons (refeeding syndrome has landed me in hospital again and again) and gaining 3 pounds in a few days not only caused my BP to plummet but also was a shock and was abnormal for me so i was freaking out about why.. I was worried id have to restrict more and i knew that would be taking a step back and i was hoping i could find the reason for the gain to be something OTHER than my usual intake..

Crazy how some 23s are baggy on me, i can hardly wear Frankie B anymore and yet i still think i look chunky. This disorder is horrific and blind faith is the only thing i can latch onto to help me through it. xoxox

Edit: I was eating this cappichino foam that was all natural, fat free and 'o kcals..(which turns out it was not!)
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Jessani, your my inspiration. I love your strength. You are amazing.. xx
 

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Zee, Keep strong. That is what will keep you going. Never give up on yourself:magwink
 

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^^Thankyou! Made me smile <3



As for 350 a can..i think its more than that for sure.. I used to eat the soywhip which was 10 kcals a serving and 30 servings (300kcals) and the can was like half the size! So.. I just dont know!
I went to the company website (this stuff sounds good and I've never heard of it before:) and they claim there are 14 one ounce servings per can and 25 cals per ounce for the flavored varieties/12 cals per ounce for the plain.

I hope you are still able to enjoy this stuff, its good to give yourself a treat even if you don't eat the entire can at once.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
^^I had 6 cans in my fridge and decided to hand them over to the clinic my husband works at to give them to his employees as gifts because i was using the foam to replace anything id eat when craving something sweet. It is definitely good to treat myself and i am practising that but also, it is also good to call my self out when i use 'food' for food avoidance :) I still have a few treats, but its good for me to find food that i both, enjoy and that is nutritious :) I like my dannon yogurt with live cultures ;)
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Oh, and it IS good! Highly recommend it! I love the soywhip by soyatoo too but thats more for people who enjoy the soya taste..some hate the stuff and others love it! :)
 

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^^Hey love! I do not feel noticably better but really that is because this month has been really trying for me because i am facing a shit load of fears and im exhausted! I am also trying to get my weight back up, slowly.. I was 109 when we last spoke but i increased my intake and lost weight because of my metabolism.. 102 is so stupid and i hate that i let myself fall to that but regardless, i am trying to gain and have done a little by little.. I just have to make sure its slow for a variety of reasons (refeeding syndrome has landed me in hospital again and again) and gaining 3 pounds in a few days not only caused my BP to plummet but also was a shock and was abnormal for me so i was freaking out about why.. I was worried id have to restrict more and i knew that would be taking a step back and i was hoping i could find the reason for the gain to be something OTHER than my usual intake..

Crazy how some 23s are baggy on me, i can hardly wear Frankie B anymore and yet i still think i look chunky. This disorder is horrific and blind faith is the only thing i can latch onto to help me through it. xoxox

Edit: I was eating this cappichino foam that was all natural, fat free and 'o kcals..(which turns out it was not!)
I really admire both you and Jess for your courage and strength that has helped both of you through your recoveries.



kind of OT but this post kind of hit close to home for me, especially that one line. I am starting to realize now that i have serious body dysmorphic disorder. I am a size 25 or 26 and petite yet every time i look in the mirror i see someoen that needs to loose a ton of weight. It is just so odd to me since my mom keeps telling me that i am so slim (i am not thin nor do i suffer from an eating disorder...i am a weightlifter that just eats very clean). I kind of have this combination of both body dysmorphic disorder and muscle dysmorphia. And it doesn't stop with just my weight...it goes for my whole view of my looks in . When i look in the mirror i see huge large pores with gross blackheads and someone with really bad skin, yet my BF keeps on asking me why i use all these skin products...so i told him to deal with my bad acne and blackheads...his response was "what blackheads? You don't have any blackheads Lindsay"

How do you tackle these sorts of issues? I seriously wish that i knew what i looked like because when i look in the mirror i am sure i see something totally different.
 

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^Linds, my anorexia has turned into more of what you experience. I am thin, but I tend to focus on my flaws and those are what get me down. Since I had my son I hate my loose skin on my stomach and it bothers me EVERY damn day. I will eventually get a mini tummy tuck because it really gets my self-esteem a lot.
It's hard that us girls (mostly girls) experience this. I try to give myself 2 compliments for every negative thing I think:magwink
 
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