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Discussion Starter #1
:jumping this will be entertaining and i have a bunch of them!
i'll start off with one of Ricky's... he was 9 or 10 and was at his yearly physical exam.
his doctor asked him to please go pee in a cup.
his response...
"Why?...I'm not pregnant."

:rofl

OH OH! another one just popped into my mind about Ricky at the doctor.
it was time for some shots ... he always hated them.
the nurse came in and he hid under the exam table .. he started yelling at her that he didn't want the shot, and ended up calling her the Devil ! :rofl:ashamed



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We are season ticket holders for the Carolina Hurricanes, so Max has basically grown up at the arena. His first season was the year they won the Stanley Cup.

Anyway, he was about 15 months old and starting to talk. I didn't realize it, but he was picking up some of the cheers at the game. There is a loud section near us and they always do a "Goalie, Goalie, Goalie, You Suck" chant. So, my beautiful 15 month old thought that saying "You suck" was a good thing. So, whenever we would go to the store or out and about, everyone would always coo over my beautiful blue eyed baby. He would smile at them with the biggest smile and just when they would start to melt, he would tell them "You suck" :bigeyes:ashamed:jumping:eek:
 

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Well, my daughter (#4) didn't have to say anything to make us giggle. She was just under 5 when...

We bought each daughter Bitty Babies (American Girl baby dolls), and we were at my friend's house. She brought hers with her...anyway, right in the middle of the room, she proceeded to lift her shirt and put her baby doll to her breast. She pretended to nurse the baby. Well, all eyes were on her (men and women)...obviously she watched me enough to know that sometimes you have to massage clogged areas, if you know what I mean. Yes, #6 was very young, so this was all imitation of me. :ashamed

The moms in the room were in hysterics; the men didn't find it quite as cute. :rofl. My daughters can no longertake their dolls in public.

:ashamed



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Discussion Starter #5

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LOL to Nola, Dawn, and Shireen!
This is a great thread idea! I have no children but hear lots of funny things waiting tables at a family friendly diner...


Sometimes I feel like kids are like the cute baby animals at the zoo. The little bears and such are so cute and fun to watch, but the thought of having one is scary. :ashamed :D
 

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Not *my* kid, but hubby told me the story of when his nephew was in elementary school (he's now 20, I think), and had DARE. They told the kids that nicotene is a drug, and his mom (hubby's sis) smoked. Apparently, one day at the grocery store, he announced to the store that his mom did drugs :jumping
 

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He told me this morning that all I do is sit on my butt and I never help him.:rofl It's very early in the morning by the way....I was in bed...as was he and he is mad because I won't look for his dad's stocking cap that is in his bed with him. And I am lazy?


In a crowded bathroom, I believe it was a JC Penney, we are finishing up and he jumps down off the toliet and yells "STOP HAMMER TIME" the entire place just starts rolling.

My MIL apparently didn't pay attention to what channel the TV was on because Abram came into the kitchen and told her to "Freeze Asshole". Turns out it was some sort of cop movie.:thumbsup

We were in church one Sunday and this little old lady is talking to Abram, now he was maybe 2 at the time, she is just really making over him and he decided to shut her up it would be best to just throw his shoe at her. I could not stop laughing. I am immature.
 

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My daughter was 4 when this happened. I took her to the bathroom and apparently she was feeling constipated. She sat on the toilet for a few minutes and then said (in all seriousness) "C'mon poops, come out, you can do it!" I couldn't quit laughing:rofl
 

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He told me this morning that all I do is sit on my butt and I never help him.:rofl It's very early in the morning by the way....I was in bed...as was he and he is mad because I won't look for his dad's stocking cap that is in his bed with him. And I am lazy?


In a crowded bathroom, I believe it was a JC Penney, we are finishing up and he jumps down off the toliet and yells "STOP HAMMER TIME" the entire place just starts rolling.

My MIL apparently didn't pay attention to what channel the TV was on because Abram came into the kitchen and told her to "Freeze Asshole". Turns out it was some sort of cop movie.:thumbsup

We were in church one Sunday and this little old lady is talking to Abram, now he was maybe 2 at the time, she is just really making over him and he decided to shut her up it would be best to just throw his shoe at her. I could not stop laughing. I am immature.
:bigeyes :lmfao: OMG Danielle!!! :rofl:rofl:rofl

I love kids' poop stories. :jumping



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:bigeyes:lmfao::rofl

omg Shireen... i am cracking up! :rofl


OKAY.. i remember about a year ago, zachary and i were at Savemart and he farted .. then he went.. "MOM!" :rofl

i was llike .. omg, that wasn't me people! :ashamed:rofl
sheesh.. everyone knows i'd rather burp and taste it, than fart and waste it! :rofl
:rofl
 

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Those are all way too funny!

My son is ALWAYS saying something that cracks me up. (And doing stuff to crack me up as well)

Note: He's three years old and looks like he's five.

So on my sons 2nd B-day we took him to the movies and it's free for kids 2 years and under. So we get there to watch some kid movie and the guy giving us the tickets said 'hope you enjoy the movie' and my husband said 'yeah it's our son's birthday' so the guy proceeds to ask me how old my son is, before I could say anything my son yells 3. Then the guy tells me that it's only free for 2 years and under and I kept saying honestly hes two today. My son kept saying 'no not i'm 3.' We ended up being able to go in but I was cracking up laughing so it was probably so unbeleivable. (I was really being honest though)

When my son was 2 and a half we were at the store and some lady asked him how old he was and he said 'two half' well the lady heard two pac (2pac) and said it back to him like what's two pac? So then whenever anyone would ask his name or age he would say 2pac. It was pretty funny.

My son also once came to me after being told NOT TO POOP HIS PANTS EVER again and said 'mom I farted with a little bit of shart.' that literally had me rollling.

I know there is more......just can't think right now
 

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Ok, I'm not a Mom, but I am an elementary school (K-2) music teacher, and I hear kids say HILARIOUS stuff all the time. I'll NEVER forget last year when one of my sweet first grade girls was wearing a purple shirt with the number 17 on the front in sparkles. I told her that I liked her shirt and she said "This is how old my Mom was when she had me!" I had to STRUGGLE to keep my composure. When her teacher arrived to pick the class up, I told her and she cracked up and told me it wasn't true.
 
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