12-14-2008, 08:05 AM
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Join Date: May 2006
I guess it's time.....
Guess it's time for this, since my PM was copied, and pasted for all to see. I really don't care for this thread to turn bad. I did see the N thread, after I had contacted Pam. So I do understanding some members had harsh words. Can't say I haven't been there. As for Pam, I did pay her, and I paid her an extra 20 dollars. That was for being a pain in the ass. I had never in my life, scammed or ripped anyone off. I always paid Pam, Joan, anyone that hooked me up with jeans. So onwards to my void.
Quite honestly, no I am not over my Dad's death. Sorry If my grief has tore me up, but someone dies while talking to you is a bit hard to handle. I know now that I should have sought out grief counseling. I thought I didn't need it, as I could hear my Dad's words. Girl I raised you tough, you can make it once I'm gone. BTW.... my Dad was a Union president, and my family is GM, and Ford lineman. So hence my PM to a member about wages.
My Dad's death, and not dealing with my grief. I developed an OCD, one that I hurt myself. Some days I can barely walk, or open my hands. I fell off the planet, sunk in a hole of tears and self destruction. I in no way meant to hurt anyone else. I shut off my phones, my friends, and didn't even open my PC for almost six months. So all my dirty laundry is in front of you. I didn't want anyone to know I couldn't handle my Dads death, and what it did to me. At this point I felt it was the only way to clear the air.
Pam's forgiven me, and that is the most important thing. I have sought help for my OCD. I hope to be back at work soon.
I just want to Thank the members that stood by me, on the phone and PM.