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Old 12-01-2008, 07:41 PM
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Installing Husband

INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,

Last month I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
· Romance 9.5 and
· Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as
· NBA 5.0,
· NFL 3.0 and
· Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

· Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate.


DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind,
· Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
· Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3 .0 update.
· If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
· Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resour ces.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program.These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend
· Cooking 3.0 and
· Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck Babe!

Tech Support
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Old 12-01-2008, 07:43 PM
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Old 12-01-2008, 08:25 PM
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That's great!
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Old 12-01-2008, 08:34 PM
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· NBA 5.0,
· NFL 3.0 and
· Golf Clubs 4.1.
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Old 12-01-2008, 08:39 PM
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Old 12-01-2008, 08:43 PM
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So true.
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Old 12-01-2008, 09:39 PM
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I wonder if tech support knows the reason why my Boyfriend 5.0 is starting to turn into a Husband 1.0, and we're not even engaged! lol
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Old 12-01-2008, 10:41 PM
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Old 12-01-2008, 10:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by geebs View Post

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resour ces.)


·
This is so totally my case....
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Old 12-01-2008, 10:46 PM
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Old 12-01-2008, 10:46 PM
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Old 12-02-2008, 12:10 AM
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INSTALLING WIFE 1.0

Subject: Wife 1.0

To: Technical Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed
that the new program began unexpected child processing that
took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of
this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In
addition, Wife1.0 installs itself into all other programs and
launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other
system activity.

Applications such as Pokernight 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5
and Monday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system
whenever selected. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the
background while attempting to run some of my other favorite
applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0,
but the un-install for Wife 1.0 does not work.

Can you help me, please!!!

Thanks,

Lord Joe Nevanen
Mission, TX

Tech Support Writes Back

Dear Lord Joseph:

This is a very common problem male employees complain
about, but it is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many
people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that
Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT
program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and
designed by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you
would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to
Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would
cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained.

It is impossible to un-install, delete, or purge the program files
from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend
7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried
to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more
problems than the original system.

Look in your help files under “Warnings-Alimony/Child
Support”. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with
the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also
suggest you read the entire section regarding General
Partnership Faults(GPFs). You must assume all
responsibility for faults and problems that might
occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be
to enter the DOS-command

C:\APOLOGIZE or click the I’M SORRY! Icon for Macintosh
systems. In any case avoid excessive use of the Esc key because
ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE/SORRY
command before the operating system will return to normal. The
system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all
the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high
maintenance.

Consider buying additional software to improve the performance
of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0.
DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short
Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is
likely to cause irreversible damage to YOUR hardware.

Best of luck.
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Old 12-02-2008, 07:00 AM
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lmao
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Old 12-02-2008, 07:06 AM
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oh, how true it all is
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Old 12-02-2008, 07:20 AM
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Old 12-02-2008, 12:28 PM
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have to send that to my bf
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Old 12-02-2008, 12:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mainguyen504 View Post

I wonder if tech support knows the reason why my Boyfriend 5.0 is starting to turn into a Husband 1.0, and we're not even engaged! lol
Ditto for me
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Old 12-03-2008, 11:20 AM
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Love it!
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Old 12-03-2008, 11:36 AM
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This just made my day, LOVE IT!!
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