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Old 08-08-2012, 11:38 PM
Denim God
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Split custody issues

For those of you with school aged children, and joint custody... what is your schedule? How do you make it work so that they go to one school, and still have time with the other parent?

Right now our schedule is really screwy, but it's been like this since we split up so it worked ok, up until now. I have them Sun night, M, T, and he has them W, Th, Fr nights (I have them in the day all week) then every other saturday we switch.

D will be in school full time this year, and he will be riding the bus to school. I told my ex that I would not be picking them up at 6am on Th/Fr mornings to get him to the bus on time, and that we would have to do something different when school starts.

I want to have them m-f (get them back sun night, he takes them Fri night), but he's suddenly being a complete douche about it, even though I've been talking about it since the end of school. He literally has 1 1/2-2 hours after he gets them on his nights before they need to be in bed (8) but he lets them stay up way later than that. I see no point in it, but he bitches that he'd lose time with them (even though he just puts them in front of the tv). He doesn't want them on weekends, because he MIGHT have plans (he never does ), and I've told him that I will take them on weekends that he wants to go do something.

Essentially, he wants his time with them, but does nothing but put them in front of the TV, and go against any grounding/disciplinary action I have with them, that he KNOWS about, and agrees to before he takes them.

It makes sense that they stay with me during the week for school... but his head is so far up his ass all he can do is argue with me about it. Our legal custody plan is 2wks on/off. In which case, he'd be paying about 1k a month for day care (before/after school for D, and all day for T) for his 2 weeks, and he can't afford that. He only gives me 300 a month to watch them on "his" days, and bitches about that, even though he doesn't have to pay child support or alimony.

I am SO stressed out right now, he's so stupid, I can't get through to him EVER. I'm not going to get 3 kids up and ready every morning, to take D to school, so I want T to be on a schedule where he sleeps in, while I take D to the bus stop (or the school), and the baby will be asleep with the bf.

Hi baby!!!!!
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Old 08-09-2012, 06:08 AM
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Denim God
Join Date: Mar 2007
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We have split with my husband's kids but he only has them every other weekend. On issues like this though, you really need to either follow the custody order or get the custody order changed the way you want it. If the custody order is clear then you don't have anything to argue about, you both do it and the law can help you enforce it. Sorry I'm not much help other than that
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Old 08-09-2012, 04:08 PM
Denim God
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Thanks Dion (sp?). The only thing I'm afraid of with that, is if we took it back to court, I think he might be a total dick and try to fight for full custody, and he makes more money than we do, has no record, etc... and now WA is granting custody to dads a lot more than they used to in cases like that. (I have no record either, lol... but our income for 5 ppl is a lot less than his income for himself/the boys).
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Old 08-11-2012, 07:23 PM
Denim Lover
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
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Hi Morbid, sorry you are so stressed out. These situations are difficult even when parents are cooperating.

With my stepson, we did one week at Mom's house, one week at Dad's. Whoever had him that week was responsible for getting him to school. Too much back and forth is no good for kids and gets confusing for them, especially when parenting styles differ. I agree that you should stick with the custody order or change it.

Nothing in what you said about your ex indicates he would in any way be interested in full custody. In the meantime, perhaps a good parenting plan that you can both agree with would help (covers medical, education, discipline, etc) and can be done without lawyers. Not legally enforceable but might help here.

This is hard to accept, but you will never be able to control what goes on at your ex's house with the kids. You have no right, just as he has no right to dictate what happens at your house. It will tick you off and be frustrating and infuriating, but that is reality.
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