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Old 12-17-2010, 05:02 AM
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Discipline suggestions, please!

As many of you probably know, I have the neighbor girl before and after school (1/2 day K). I'm having issues with getting her & my son to clean up toys in the basement. Sometimes it's not ALL their mess, sometimes a lot is from my daughter, but days like yesterday, it is almost all theirs. I'm at a loss for what to do. I tell them about 1/2 an hour before her dad is due to pick her up that it's time to clean up, but they either do a half-assed job or are really pokey about it. Hubbub thinks I should tell them no snack until it's clean, but I hate to use food like that Really, the issue is coming up with something to get the neighbor to help. I have no problem coming up with ways to convince my son. It's not fair to him that Taylor gets to go home, while he's stuck with the mess that both of them made. Generally, I think that SHE is the one making the majority of the mess, because my basement never got this bad before I started watching her.
One time, I thought they had done a good job. It wasn't until later that I leaned down & looked under the couch for some reason, only to find out that they had shoved everything under the couch and loveseat Of course, by that time she had gone home for the day
Anyway, any ideas?
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Old 12-17-2010, 06:59 AM
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Get one of those big dog crates........j/k My 4YO loves snack time, so I use the food thing.... but it works for me in getting her to pick up her stuff, also, she loves the Wizard of Oz movie - so no clean up, no OZ!! Good luck!!
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Old 12-17-2010, 09:25 AM
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I would suggest to make it a fun time to pick up their toys instead of punishing them if they don't. Play a song while it's time to pick up toys and have them pick up toys through out the day instead of just at the end of the day. It's good for them to understand that they need to put toys away in their place if they are done with them.

Also talk to the girls parents and ask if they can help in any way to help teach her. Or, if they come over to get her you can say out loud in front of them, "Ok, it's time to clean up and put toys away.............." maybe one of the parents will get the hint and get their child to start putting things away.... hopefully they are teaching her the same in their home..........

This is what I do to teach my two year old son.
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Old 12-17-2010, 11:31 AM
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Yeah you have to make it a fun thing to see results. I've learned the "clean up song" from both schools my DD has attended...

"Clean up, clean up everybody everywhere. Clean up, clean up everybody do their share"
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Old 12-17-2010, 01:08 PM
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I'd try to frame it around positive rewards vs. negative consequences.
Earning a sticker or a token for a prize can be more motivating than being afraid of something being taken away- long term. If they are doing something to avoid a punishment they will probably need reminders forever(for me reminders quickly turn into nagging and it's all over), but after a period of time earning a positive- the adult has to do less reminding (no nagging).

I'd also communicate with the other parents and just tell them that the kids both need to clean up before she goes home, and that you are going to tell the kids that it's clean up time X minutes before her parent arrives, she will earn something for doing it well, and that you'd like their support (this should make it clear that she will have to clean up before going home)

It also sounds like they need some reminders about where each type of toys belongs. My daughter only has 4 places where she puts things back, but needs reminders every single time (she is the same age) that dolls go here, stuffed animals go here, etc... Once I walk her through it for a minute she can get started, but it's too overwhelming for her to just start the process on her own, despite doing it every single day. (Your child might not need this alone, but with another child the whole dynamic can change)
Good luck- I hate this kind of stuff.
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Old 12-19-2010, 11:22 AM
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I agree with the suggestions...but also, how about dwindling down the toys and rotating them each week? Maybe just give them 2 different sets of thing to play with?? Might help out a little.

I was having issues with the girls making gynormous messes and then I dwindled down what they could play with. I let them have their barbies/accessories and littlest pets and accessories. Also, I was just reading an article about how to organize the toys so that it makes it easier to clean up. Maybe the way they are organized is too daunting for the children to pick up? I read that clear storage boxes are the way to go, and also those shelves where you see the bins at an angle. I know that Target has them with the bins being different colors.

Anyway, I hope you find a solution. I love my kids but the clutter that they make on a daily basis is incredibly annoying.
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Old 12-20-2010, 10:56 AM
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We also have a rule at our house for DD about cleaning up... she get's a reminder to clean up and then whatever isn't put away may go to restriction for the rest of the day or the next day. That seems to work, especially if it's a toy she really likes to play with! Good Luck! Cleaning up seems to be so hard to teach kids for some reason!!
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Old 12-20-2010, 10:59 AM
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Thanks for all the suggestions, I'll ponder on it and try the methods that I think will work best, and go from there.
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Old 12-20-2010, 11:11 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by short_round View Post
We also have a rule at our house for DD about cleaning up... she get's a reminder to clean up and then whatever isn't put away may go to restriction for the rest of the day or the next day. That seems to work, especially if it's a toy she really likes to play with! Good Luck! Cleaning up seems to be so hard to teach kids for some reason!!
This is a really good idea and I'm going to steal it I sometimes threaten to throw or donate whatever is left on the floor but I can never go through with that so it's just a useless line...but your idea is fantastic, Jess
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Old 12-20-2010, 12:54 PM
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no christmas presents unless they clean up

j/k

i'm going to have to try some of the suggestions on my son. lately, he won't keep his room clean and he refuses to eat anything but chicken nuggets.

good luck, april!
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Old 12-20-2010, 01:05 PM
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Cat, that's mighty tempting LOL If only I could convince the neighbors to do the same for their little princess
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