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Old 10-20-2010, 05:49 AM
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Moms of older kids, need HALP!

Some of you may remember, a few months ago, we took the dropside off Anna's crib because she was climbing out. It's pretty much a toddler bed now. At first, she did really well with it, but lately it's been BAD. As in, she didn't go to sleep until around 10 last night (and we put her to bed at 7!). She keeps getting out, she went into Owen's room and *said* she was going to sleep. I let her have 5 minutes, knowing full well that she wasn't going to go to sleep. Put her back in her bed and she continued to get out of bed. I'm at my wits' end here, NO idea what to do. We do NOT want to lock her in, though. We put doorknob covers on, but she's already figured them out This morning, at I-don't-know-WHAT-time, she came into our room and climbed up in the bed. I was pretty much out, and the next thing I know, my alarm's going off and I realize that she's lying in between my legs, using my butt as a pillow, sleeping Cute, but not a habit I want to encourage.
Any suggestions on how to keep her in HER bed? I've tried to sit outside her door and just put her right back in bed as soon as she gets out, but she just gets right back out We've tried swatting her butt, she cries (even though I KNOW it doesn't hurt), calms down and gets back out. One night, I had run to the store (and left my nail polish on the table), and hubby told me when I got home that he had come up from the basement to see her sitting at the table trying to paint her nails.
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Old 10-20-2010, 05:50 AM
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does she still nap during the day? if so, for how long?
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Old 10-20-2010, 06:18 AM
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We never solved this problem per-say.. but my son did just stop doing it right around his 4th birthday. Of course, in the time between starting it and stopping.. he did set the microwave on fire, get up eleventy bajillion times and turn the tv on (no sound just picture), play with all his toys quietly, etc. He got real annoyed when we woke him up early every morning.. I guess he just stopped doing it after that

Of course, I let him sleep in my bed now when hes at my house.. but thats a whole 'nother story for another post (its a new thing and I know why hes doing it, so Im not gonna force the issue)
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Old 10-20-2010, 06:44 AM
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Shireen, sometimes she does, sometimes she doesn't. Whether or not she naps doesn't seem to have any real effect on her sleep at night Other than she turns into a total BEAR around 5 or 6 when she doesn't nap.
Nicole...I get your situation, and I don't blame you for letting him sleep with you. My problem is that we only have a queen-sized bed, and certainly not enough room for a king, and there's no way for three of us to sleep comfortably in there I know that it works for some people, and I co-slept when my kids were infants, it was the only way I could actually get some sleep at night, with breastfeeding them. But after they got to a certain age, I was no longer comfortable with it because I was more or less stuck in the same position most of the night, on one side or the other. I tend to be a stomach sleeper, so that really didn't work for me LOL BTW, are you trying to tell me I'm just gonna slowly go crazy (er!)? When I got up for the day, I put her at the table and turned on Disney, walked away for a few minutes, and she had gotten into the freezer and got out a SpongeBob push pop that I bought for her last night (we have a bottom-freezer fridge) We had a nice latch on the freezer, but it broke, and TRU only had these flexible rubber latches, which she's also already figured out Gonna have to make a trip to Target or Wal-Mart to get one of the good ones again, I guess.
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Old 10-20-2010, 07:31 AM
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I know that you said that you don't want to lock him in, but we have a baby gate on Spencer's doorway

It actually went on so that he could play in his room while I did laundry, took care of the baby, etc, but I do close in for naps and bedtime as well because the gate at the top of the stairs sucks and barely latches.

Spencer has only been in his big boy bed for a couple of weeks, but he has yet to get out of it...the kid LOVES to sleep! I actually have to bargain with him to get out of his bed after nap and in the am! Im sure the novelty will wear of soon though
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Old 10-20-2010, 07:36 AM
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Shireen, sometimes she does, sometimes she doesn't. Whether or not she naps doesn't seem to have any real effect on her sleep at night Other than she turns into a total BEAR around 5 or 6 when she doesn't nap.
Nicole...I get your situation, and I don't blame you for letting him sleep with you. My problem is that we only have a queen-sized bed, and certainly not enough room for a king, and there's no way for three of us to sleep comfortably in there I know that it works for some people, and I co-slept when my kids were infants, it was the only way I could actually get some sleep at night, with breastfeeding them. But after they got to a certain age, I was no longer comfortable with it because I was more or less stuck in the same position most of the night, on one side or the other. I tend to be a stomach sleeper, so that really didn't work for me LOL BTW, are you trying to tell me I'm just gonna slowly go crazy (er!)? When I got up for the day, I put her at the table and turned on Disney, walked away for a few minutes, and she had gotten into the freezer and got out a SpongeBob push pop that I bought for her last night (we have a bottom-freezer fridge) We had a nice latch on the freezer, but it broke, and TRU only had these flexible rubber latches, which she's also already figured out Gonna have to make a trip to Target or Wal-Mart to get one of the good ones again, I guess.
Oh i dont blame you. He moved out of my bed around 9 months and refused to ever sleep with me again until recently. queen bed + (Me + my ex + a big kid) = disaster trying to sleep together. Someone inevitably got kicked out of the bed.

My advice would be to unplug the microwave and find a better latch for the fridge ;) Granted, he hasn't touched it since, but I am out a $250 microwave... and it traumatized us all. I think its a phase, and they get over it eventually. My ex put a lock on his door to keep him in at night I think he finally took my advice and stopped that. (it didnt help, it just pissed the kid off and he banged on the door and wailed until someone let him out and at that point he was wide awake.)

I guess I dont have any real advice, just commiseration, lol. I feel your pain. Like everything else, this too shall pass. Hopefully with your sanity in tact.
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Old 10-20-2010, 09:23 AM
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Jennifer, I tried the gate at naptime once, and she just opened the door and stood there, talking to me. I was in the bathroom doing my hair. I tried shutting the bathroom door, but she knew I was in there I was hoping she'd just get sick of it and go lie down, but it didn't happen. Maybe at night, when there's no one up here?
BTW, the aversion to locking her in comes from hubby. Apparently, when he was a kid, someone his mom knew would lock her kids in their rooms and go out drinking Not like we'd do that, but it bothers him. I personally don't see the harm in locking her in until she goes to sleep, but I'm not fighting him on it.
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Last edited by aswin; 10-20-2010 at 09:25 AM.
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Old 10-20-2010, 09:51 AM
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I don't like the idea of locking the door....don't know why....that just bugs me.

HOWEVER...I know a lady that became so desperate for her son to nap that she TIED him to the bed. She said she watched him with the door cracked open. I laughed about that until I had children....it now seems utterly insane to tie a child to the bed.
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Old 10-20-2010, 10:04 AM
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I don't like the idea of locking the door....don't know why....that just bugs me.

HOWEVER...I know a lady that became so desperate for her son to nap that she TIED him to the bed. She said she watched him with the door cracked open. I laughed about that until I had children....it now seems utterly insane to tie a child to the bed.
that's just not right.

and i couldn't lock the door either.
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Old 10-20-2010, 10:04 AM
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yeah, you definitely do not want to get into the habit of letting her sleep with you. my son slept in my bed until he was almost 5 years old. when i finally put him down in his own bed, he kept getting out of bed. in order to get him to sleep in his own bed, i had to lie down with him until he fell asleep. i did this for four months. when i stopped doing it, he started getting out of bed again. it sucks and is probably not what you want to hear, but i don't think there's much you can do except to keep putting her back into bed. don't let her have 5 minutes. as soon as she gets up, put her back in bed. i had to do that with my son for 2 months before he finally stopped. it was hell.
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Old 10-20-2010, 10:13 AM
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Abram slept with me until I got pregnant with Evan, then he slept in his bed in my room, then he slept in his bed in HIS room. I never had any problem getting him to stay in his bed. I have a feeling that Evan will probably not go along with things as easy as his brover did. Evan won't sleep in his bed if I am in the room....he wants to sleep with me. Little shit.
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Old 10-20-2010, 10:17 AM
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^lol it was when i became pregnant that i decided that i did not want two children in bed with me.
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Old 10-20-2010, 11:00 AM
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I should add that I NEVER had issues like this with Owen Otherwise, I doubt we'd have had #2 He never tried to get out of the crib, and was nearly 3 before we moved him to a bed. He stayed out of the fridge and freezer, worst we had to worry about was him getting canned goods out of the cabinets and setting them up on the floor
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Old 10-20-2010, 11:25 AM
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To get my oldest 2 to sleep in their own beds, I'd have to lie with them until they fell asleep. Most nights hubby would have to come wake me up to go to my own bed. With the youngest, we moved and temporarily only had 3 bedrooms, so he had to share with his brother. This was actually a blessing. He never gave us any problems, when bubs went to bed, so did he.
I guess he didn't feel scared or alone since he had his brother.
Fast forward 2 years, when we finally got the 4th bedroom done, he now has to go to sleep with his lamp on and his cat "to protect" him. So I have to remember to go shut out the light and release his prisoner every night.
His dad just left for a trip and he couldn't wait for him to leave since that meant he could sleep in my bed.
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Old 10-20-2010, 12:21 PM
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April, I feel for you...all 3 of my kids did it and still do it. Persistence is the key as well as a routine. I have a routine that I did with all of my kids until they were about 4. I would help them brush their teeth, read them the same book every night, and lay with them for 5 minutes after the book and not a minute longer. If they got out of bed I would put them back in bed and tell them for each time they got out of bed I would subtract a minute from laying with them. Obviously you have to put this into terms that a 2 or 3 year old will understand. The reason for reading the same book every night was given to me by my pediatrician. He said kids love routine and they eventually get sick of the same story and fall asleep....it works. I read them other books before bedtime but the "bedtime" book is the same every night. Now that my boys are older I reward them. If they stay in bed and don't get out or have to be told to be quiet (they share a room) for a whole week....they get to go to Target and pick out a little $5 toy. It works wonders. They have to do 7 days in a row....and they keep track, believe me. It's like a game to them. Good Luck!!! All kids do the same darn thing and it sucks
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Old 10-20-2010, 12:22 PM
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My youngest just turned 4 and she is still in her crib (her choice, and she says she doesn't want a big girl bed), but I am not looking forward to the day she wants her big girl bed, as I know she will not stay in it..........good luck
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Old 10-20-2010, 01:15 PM
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An update. We put the gate up at naptime, and she opened the door, as usual. Played and played, put her back into bed, finally let her lie on the floor. I was in the bathroom again, doing my hair, and listened to her talk to herself. Just as I was finishing up, hubby came to the door and told me that she had gone to sleep! She's on the floor LOL but asleep! So we'll try it tonight and see if it works again.
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Old 10-20-2010, 01:23 PM
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Oh! I remember what we did! I bought a magnetic chore chart.. and "bedtime" was something he got a star for.. and at the end of the week if he had all his stars, he got a special privilege, like a new toy or an extra tv show (15-20 minutes of dora on the weekend usually) He loves magnets so it totally helped. It also got him to eat dinner, brush his teeth, take a bath, turn the tv off, etc. It was a dry erase one you could fill in the 'chores'. I need to get a new one for the new house. (daddy kept mine)
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Old 10-20-2010, 02:58 PM
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We have sleep issues too We let Kaila sleep in our bed in order to get some type of sleep, and now almost 4 years later we've had to get her to sleep in her own bed. She was sleeping in her bed for awhile until she got sick once and regressed back to our bed I finally had enough, and she's been sleeping in her bed at night & naps after one night of crying refusal. I read her 3 books and sit in her room until she falls asleep. She used to come back into my room if she woke up, but she's been actually doing better and falling back to sleep on her own! I'm going to gradually decrease my time I wait in her room until eventually, hopefully I can read her books and leave.
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Old 10-20-2010, 08:10 PM
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She wanted to sleep on the floor tonight, so there she be LOL I got her pillows set up and tucked her in, I think she went right to sleep after that. Initially, I had tucked her into bed, and she got out and opened the door and stood at the gate. I let her go for a while, and then she started whining, so I went to see what was wrong. She said she wanted to sleep on the floor, I told her that's fine, but she can't be right by the door, I have to be able to close it. I told hubby earlier, if she wanted to sleep duct-taped to the ceiling, I wouldn't care, as long as she SLEEPS
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Old 10-20-2010, 08:21 PM
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My son was in a toddler bed when he was 1.5 and converted to a queen size bed when he was 2 because he moved around a lot and was uncomfortable I would ALWAYS find him on the floor and not in his bed. I thought he was going to have problems with getting up in the night in the queen bed but he never has, I am pretty lucky because I wouldn't want him in my bed .

I have babysat kids who have wanted to get up in the night and I asked them why and they said because there rooms are scary, they don't have a nightlight, they don't like their beds etc (not saying that you haven't already tried to make your child comfortable) but maybe everynight check under the bed, closet, etc for 'monsters' put a cool night light in, play soothing music, etc it night it might help.
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Old 10-21-2010, 08:29 PM
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We have a clear plastic gate (with no toe-holds), to keep our youngest in the room. I'm totally not comfortable with closing the door, so this is a happy medium for us, and my 5yo can open it, if he has to go tot he bathroom.
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