Fostering independence or being overly-indulgent? - AuthenticForum
 
AuthenticForum
  Register FAQ Members List Arcade Search Chat Mark Forums Read  
Register

 
 

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 07-22-2010, 08:51 AM
aswin's Avatar
Denim God
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: PA
Posts: 3,281
Feedback: (21)
Fostering independence or being overly-indulgent?

Anna turned two in May. She is in the fiercely independent stage right now, wants to do everything herself. She has to walk out the door by herself, climb in the van by herself, climb in her carseat by herself, do the chest clip herself...etc. At night, we let her have some water from a water bottle when we put her to bed (she can take a sip, we don't let her keep it in the crib). She has to take the cap off herself and put it on herself...I'm sure you get the point. Hubby says we are spoiling her by letting her "get away" with doing this stuff, and that we'd never have let Owen "get away" with it. I say that Owen had no interest in doing this stuff at this age b/c he didn't have an older sibling he had to keep up with, and that we aren't spoiling her, we are encouraging her independence. She DOES have fits if we don't let her do what she wants, but the fits don't make me give in.
__________________
April
Please check out my stuff in the mall, all jeans $50 or under, some NWT! Also, lower price on RM MAB!
http://calliescause.yolasite.com/
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 07-22-2010, 09:47 AM
GoldenSurf's Avatar
Denim Obsessed
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: NorCal
Posts: 553
Feedback: (18)
I personally don't think it's overly indulgent assuming that what we are talking about is age appropriate and safe. The things you listed are completely age appropriate as she tries to establish some independence because up until now, we as parents have pretty much controlled everything like where we go, when and what we eat, etc. My DD is also two and she usually wants to try to do many of these things herself and she will usually ask for our help if she can't manage it. We draw the line at things like crossing the street without holding our hands and things like that.
__________________
Amy
Reply With Quote
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 07-22-2010, 09:55 AM
aswin's Avatar
Denim God
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: PA
Posts: 3,281
Feedback: (21)
Oh yeah, nothing inappropriate. He just thinks that her wanting to remove the cap from the water bottle is stalling for more time awake And that I'm spoiling her by letting her "get away" with it. She had a fit once b/c we were walking across the street to the neighbors' and I wouldn't let her walk. Um, no, our street is BUSY and people drive like assholes. I have started letting her walk if there are no cars to be seen in either direction (we can see pretty far both ways). I just picked her up, kicking and screaming (literally!) and carried her over. Once we were over, she calmed down.
__________________
April
Please check out my stuff in the mall, all jeans $50 or under, some NWT! Also, lower price on RM MAB!
http://calliescause.yolasite.com/
Reply With Quote
 
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 07-22-2010, 10:33 AM
Dojoqueen's Avatar
Denim God
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Here
Posts: 36,827
Feedback: (101)
seems totally normal to me.

emaan is getting into that stage too. our street is very dead, but i don't want her to get overly confident and think ALL streets are dead like ours; her sisters all take off across the street, but obviously she can't.

i totally let her feed herself, etc. i figure fighting takes more energy; i'm sure it's because she's the 6th one and i've chilled out A LOT.
__________________
you buy now
Reply With Quote
  #5 (permalink)  
Old 07-22-2010, 10:42 AM
aswin's Avatar
Denim God
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: PA
Posts: 3,281
Feedback: (21)
Truthfully, I think that he was just overly stressed from work that day, and directed his frustration in that way. Most times, he seems fine with her little quirks.
__________________
April
Please check out my stuff in the mall, all jeans $50 or under, some NWT! Also, lower price on RM MAB!
http://calliescause.yolasite.com/
Reply With Quote
  #6 (permalink)  
Old 07-22-2010, 11:24 AM
Rudegirl3's Avatar
Jean Junkie
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Cali
Posts: 2,478
Feedback: (29)
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenSurf View Post
I personally don't think it's overly indulgent assuming that what we are talking about is age appropriate and safe. The things you listed are completely age appropriate as she tries to establish some independence because up until now, we as parents have pretty much controlled everything like where we go, when and what we eat, etc. My DD is also two and she usually wants to try to do many of these things herself and she will usually ask for our help if she can't manage it. We draw the line at things like crossing the street without holding our hands and things like that.
Very well said My 3 1/2 year old has been in this phase for over a year. I'll let her do things herself, and if she can't get something right she usually asks for help after a bit. She still fusses over brushing her teeth herself. I let her brush her teeth herself for a few mins, and then I say ok it's mommy's turn. I get in there and brush whether she likes it or not.
__________________
Stacie
Wishing for...in a 24/25...Beastie Boy Dojo Crops,VHO Josefina, Jonathan Adler Skinnys
My Dodgers Blog
Reply With Quote
  #7 (permalink)  
Old 07-22-2010, 11:09 PM
alexandra1999's Avatar
Denim God
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Land of the Delta Blues
Posts: 6,056
Feedback: (36)
Of all the stuff you listed, April, it just seems like she is very independent and you are teaching her well. It is not like you mentioned she wants candy and throws and absolute fit when you wont buy it for her...or a certain toy, etc. Everything you mentioned sounds like her learning how to be helpful by doing the things she can do. I say good job, Mama, for giving her the confidence to be independent. Not spoiled at all
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 10:45 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0
vBulletin Security provided by vBSecurity v2.2.2 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2017 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
 
 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70