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Old 07-06-2010, 10:41 PM
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helpful pregnant self esteem booster thread

I didn't even know what to call this thread but that works. Lately I have just been feeling down and out for some reason. I know that pregnant women are supposed to have this 'glow' and I did all through my pregnancy with my son but for some reason this pregnancy has taken a toll on me. I feel huge even though I haven't gained a pound, I feel ugly because my face is breaking out left and right I am tired all the time, I can't EVER find outfits to look cute, etc I know tons of other women have felt this way and I have gotten advice from close friends but I figured I would see what some of your guy's suggestions would be. (I already know about pedicures I get them A LOT!) I do have exciting news, I MIGHT be having a girl
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Old 07-07-2010, 05:56 AM
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Get haircuts often. Make sure you really shop for good maternity clothes that fit well and are flattering. Nothing worse for the self esteem than wearing frumpy clothes...
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Old 07-07-2010, 06:39 AM
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Debbie, congrats on the (possible) girl!!

The idea that a pregnant woman is supposed to feel happy and almost giddy throughout her pregnancy is untrue and unfair to women. Hormones are very powerful, and they affect different women in different ways.

I had antepartum depression during two of my pregnancies; it's one of the most unrecognized and undiagnosed types of depression out there.

I'm not implying you have depression at all, I'm just letting you know that feeling anything but joy abd happiness 24/7 is ok and normal.

Liz has the right idea. Buy clothes that are more fitted rather than tent-like; the pregnant belly is beautiful and we should embrace it. You really can't do a whole lot about the shape; your belly has a mind of its own.

Get manicures, pedicures, facials, massages...live it up! It's the perfect time to pamper yourself.

I hope you feel better soon; we're here to help.
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Old 07-07-2010, 06:49 AM
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buy a couple pair of kick ass PD maternity jeans!!!! I always felt awesome in my TR Backy Discos and my DPE Joeys I could wear either of those with a couple of layered ribbed tanks and feel like I looked stylin'

Also, wear bold accessories! Oversized earrings or necklaces draw the eye up away from the newly widened lower half

Try your best to stay social too. Have a girl's night out...dinner and a movie, go on a date with your SO, whatever, have a reason to put on a cute outfit and laugh

Most of all SMILE
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Old 07-07-2010, 02:44 PM
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Debbie, I know how you feel! It's frustrating having days when your skin is awful (I was there a few weeks ago but it's improved some with frequent toner use) and you try on everything in your closet but it feels like nothing looks good. it sucks. I wish I had more helpful advice, but I haven't figured out how to make these days suck any less yet so I just thought I'd let you know I'm feeling the same way! if you find something that works, let me know! it's nice to have this forum to share all the shit (good and bad) we have to go through during pregnancy!!

Edit: and CONGRATS on the "maybe" girl!
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Old 07-07-2010, 02:57 PM
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I wish I could offer some words of encouragement but I can't because I am in the same boat. With each one of my pregnancies I have felt pretty bad. This pregnancy my face broke out too much and I have gained about 35 pounds and it doesn't help that I was a overweight to begin with I don't even get dressed up when I go out, I just put on my basketball shorts and head out the door because everything looks crappy or too tight on me. I wear khakis and a collar shirt to work and I still have to hear the men joke about how much weight the pregnancy has put on me, I just try to laugh it off. I hope that you will find something that will cheer you up and help your self esteem as the pregnancy goes along
Congratulations on the possibility of having a girl
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Old 07-07-2010, 03:19 PM
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i would sucker punch any MALE who had the balls to comment on my weight gain in pregnancy.
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Old 07-07-2010, 03:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dojoqueen View Post
i would sucker punch any MALE who had the balls to comment on my weight gain in pregnancy.
Totally!

Debbie, congrats on the (possible) girl!

I agree with a frequent haircuts (but TRUST me on this - do not change your haircut dramatically while you are preggo - I learnt that the hard way).
I also agree with 1-2 really cute outfits. They can do wonders for your mood.
A cute flowery bright maxi dress with matching sandals and jewelry is one option, I also had a pair of brown linen drawstring pants with a bright orange top, espadrilles and really long dangly jewelry. I swear I wore those two outfits 6 weeks straight.
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Old 07-07-2010, 05:33 PM
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I certainly don't think you are feeling anything out of the ordinary.
I think you've got some great suggestions and most importantly, remember that it's all worth it in the end when you have that healthy little angel!
Hope things start looking up for you!
Congrats on the (probable) girl.

BTW.....I don't think anyone could have gained more than me during my pregnancy. I was HUGE!!
But again, TOTALLY worth it!!
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Old 07-07-2010, 06:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dojoqueen View Post
i would sucker punch any MALE who had the balls to comment on my weight gain in pregnancy.
yeah, I think we need to come to your work and kick some ass!
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Old 07-07-2010, 07:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dojoqueen View Post
i would sucker punch any MALE who had the balls to comment on my weight gain in pregnancy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by abmurphy View Post
yeah, I think we need to come to your work and kick some ass!
It does get irritating because it's an everyday thing but I just try to smile it off and pretend like it doesn't bother me I guess they try to get a good laugh at my expense.
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Old 07-07-2010, 07:50 PM
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I can't offer any help either because I am in the same boat also...

I am 30 weeks pregnant and no one ever comments about me being pregnant, I think they just think I am fat... Even when I go to the store to buy baby clothes they ask me if I want a gift receipt! WTH???

Plus I have a girl in one of my summer school classes who always stares at my stomach when I walk into class... I want to punch her and tell her I am pregnant and not fat!

I am super uncomfortable and I pee like eight times through the night... It was a long road to get pregnant, but I want to hold my little Blakey in my arms right now!
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Old 07-07-2010, 08:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dojoqueen View Post
i would sucker punch any MALE who had the balls to comment on my weight gain in pregnancy.
THIS!!!!

I feel the VERY same way. I have literally NEVER had so many zits in my WHOLE entire life than I do now! I feel fat too... I'm 21 weeks now and still just look like I've gained weight. I've been trying on maternity stuff but it is all HUGE and looks ridiculous but yet my non-mat clothes are looking a bit snug. I think maternity stuff is cut weird anyway... I'm hoping that in the next month or so I'll actually start to look PG instead of chubby.

I think we need to follow the advice and get some pampering done, maybe facials or pedis!!

My hair has also been really bizarre w/ this PG. It feels thinner and dryer. I need a haircut - that would probably help immensely!!

Debbie, I'm sending you good vibes!!! And... GIRLS rock!!!
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Old 07-07-2010, 11:25 PM
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Originally Posted by remonb View Post
I wish I could offer some words of encouragement but I can't because I am in the same boat. With each one of my pregnancies I have felt pretty bad. This pregnancy my face broke out too much and I have gained about 35 pounds and it doesn't help that I was a overweight to begin with I don't even get dressed up when I go out, I just put on my basketball shorts and head out the door because everything looks crappy or too tight on me. I wear khakis and a collar shirt to work and I still have to hear the men joke about how much weight the pregnancy has put on me, I just try to laugh it off. I hope that you will find something that will cheer you up and help your self esteem as the pregnancy goes along
Congratulations on the possibility of having a girl
Wow sometimes I just don't think that men realize what we women go through while being pregnant. I can't beleive that you have men 'joking' about pregnancy weight

I am happy for all the suggestions but sad that there are other's going through the same thing (which I figured there were) I am going tomorrow to go shopping so hopefully I can find something cute.
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Old 07-08-2010, 08:27 AM
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Hang in there ladies... While I have not had any skin issues and haven't really put on much weight besides the big belly, I have been so overly emotional and depressed this pregnancy. It is aweful. I put on a happy face at work, and for Mia at home... but inside I feel like I hate my life. I know this will pass but it's just tough to get through in the moment. So I try to do the little things that help me take my mind off the feelings of sadness.
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Old 07-08-2010, 09:15 AM
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When I was pregnant with my son (back in '04), I was still working, and I never actually told my co-workers (except maybe one or two) that I was pregnant. My boss told me one day that everyone knew because "your ass is getting big" Yeah, it was a man.
One of my favorite things to do was rub lotion on my belly Even though I still got stretch marks, it made me feel closer to the babies. That probably sounds odd, you can't get much closer to a child than when you're pregnant LOL
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Old 07-08-2010, 07:13 PM
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One of my favorite things to do was rub lotion on my belly

This.
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Old 07-08-2010, 09:10 PM
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I absolutely love this shirt, unfortunately they started carrying it AFTER my 2nd was born. I would have worn it in a heartbeat!

Baby Inside Ultrasound Maternity T in

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Old 07-08-2010, 11:32 PM
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Sounds like its hormone related, which means this too shall pass............... Just keep your head up and remember very soon it will be all worth it!

My daughter came 3 months early and I am sad that I was not able to fully experience again all the effects of being pregnant.. bad skin, itchy skin, hemhorroids, stuffy nose............. I seriously miss that!!
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Old 07-09-2010, 09:04 AM
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hormones are awesome...this crazypants started crying (twice) on my drive in to work this morning, seemingly for no reason. I had a hard time picking out an outfit that looked good for work, but I really don't think that's the reason. it's been ridiculously hot here the past week and our only a/c is in "my" bedroom (I have been having a horrible time sleeping for the past few weeks and it's worse when I have to share a bed, so we've been sleeping in our own rooms) so he's been sleeping in the basement the past few nights where it's much cooler, and that makes me feel horrible...
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Old 07-09-2010, 09:06 AM
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I absolutely love this shirt, unfortunately they started carrying it AFTER my 2nd was born. I would have worn it in a heartbeat!

Baby Inside Ultrasound Maternity T in

that shirt is awesome...maybe that's how I'll break the news at work
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Old 07-09-2010, 10:17 AM
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that shirt is awesome...maybe that's how I'll break the news at work
How in the heck are you able to still be hiding it from work at 20 weeks? Do you have a long torso?
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Old 07-09-2010, 11:01 AM
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How in the heck are you able to still be hiding it from work at 20 weeks? Do you have a long torso?
I do have a long torso (and shoooooort legs), I had never even thought that may be why I am not showing as much! With clothes on, I just look a little thicker in the middle...so as long as nobody from work sees me in a bikini I'm fine for now I was hoping to make it to the end of July before telling them, but we'll see if my belly cooperates! I have a lot of opinionated people at work and am really not looking forward to all the questioning/suggestions/judgment of my coffee drinking/etc...

edit: I am engaged (not married), and although we've been together for 7 years and own a house together and are perfectly ok with having a baby before we're married, I know some people are bound to pass judgment on that. (I DEFINITELY don't want to get married JUST because of the baby b/c that's what my parents did and it did NOT work out)
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Old 07-09-2010, 12:18 PM
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I do have a long torso (and shoooooort legs), I had never even thought that may be why I am not showing as much! With clothes on, I just look a little thicker in the middle...so as long as nobody from work sees me in a bikini I'm fine for now I was hoping to make it to the end of July before telling them, but we'll see if my belly cooperates! I have a lot of opinionated people at work and am really not looking forward to all the questioning/suggestions/judgment of my coffee drinking/etc...

edit: I am engaged (not married), and although we've been together for 7 years and own a house together and are perfectly ok with having a baby before we're married, I know some people are bound to pass judgment on that. (I DEFINITELY don't want to get married JUST because of the baby b/c that's what my parents did and it did NOT work out)
That makes sense. I am opposite of you, very short torso, and had a hard time making it 13 weeks with my first before I had a pretty obvious bump. F the people at work, their opinions don't matter. I work with pretty judgemental people and have had to learn to not play into that crap. They all gossip and back stab and I just cannot participate. I don't understand why people put their energy into such negativity!
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Old 07-09-2010, 01:33 PM
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lol my torso is so short i looked pregnant while peeing on a stick!

yeah, eff work people; they're not your friends anyway.
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