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Old 11-30-2009, 09:46 AM
Denim God
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Question about interaction of cousins

So you know how we went to the Virgin Islands for Thanksgiving with my entire family. My niece is 19 months old and we were so excited for her and Mia to play. Well that did not go well and ended up making the whole trip super stressfull. Avi, my niece, was constantly pushing Mia down and hitting her in the face. ALL THE TIME. We could not let them play at all It was really heartbreaking. Does anyone have experience with this? Why would she be so mean? What could the parents do to stop this behavior? My SIL was putting her in time outs and telling her "NO". Mia started to put her hand out when Avi would come near and tell her "NO" but Avi still pushed or hit her anyway. It was so sad because Mia is really sweet with other kids and loves them all, she always meets a new kid and is usually hugging them within minutes... It was hard to see her cousin being so horrible to her. It was absolutely constant so they could not play together.
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Old 11-30-2009, 10:54 AM
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I don't have direct experience with this and my daughter. However, I did observe this sort of behavior with my husband's cousins. When we all get together for the holidays, there are usually 4 or 5 little ones around the same age. I noticed that one of the little girls would behave this way, pushing the kids and throwing toys. Her older sister who is about 1 1/2 years older was not this way. Actually I would say she is more like Mia, a really sweety. I can only chalk it up to individual personalities of the kids since both of these girls have the same upbringing, environment, etc. I will say that she totally outgrew this. She is now 11 and a sweet girl although more serious and introverted than her older sister who is extremely outgoing and happy/bubbly.
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Old 12-06-2009, 04:04 PM
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My son is this way, unfortunately. My pediatrician says it's common, and they (fingers crossed) will outgrow it. My son does not like anybody in his personal space, and that space includes his toys (or toys he thinks are his, just because he saw them first), his parents, etc.

In the meantime, the parent should reinforce "no", that it's not OK to hit, it hurts, etc. I have to say, if they spent more time together, they would have been fine eventually. It takes my son 1-2 weeks of seeing somebody constantly, to finally "accept" them.
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