Authentic Jeans Forums banner

What are good "house" rules

18K views 54 replies 35 participants last post by  Donaldchris 
#1 ·
Since my husband is deployed again, this time Afghanistan and we have a 4 bedroom house, I figured renting out one of the bedrooms wouldn't be a horribly bad idea :IDK

I have a nursing classmate who said her older (sixty's) roommate's mother came to live with them and she said it was supposed to be temp and now she things it will be permanent and that it's not working out and she thinks they have been going into her room and so on...

Anyhow I am trying to make a list of Rules and make up a contract so that everything is out on the table before hand and there are hopefully very few to no issues that come up while she rents a "room" for the next year (until her and her finance get married)

I kinda like a few ideas from this;
Successfully Living With a Roommate
does anyone have any ideas other than the ones I have listed (or see any issues I may not be seeing)

Included in rent:
Lease will be month to month, rent due at ___ of the month.
Deposit will be (have not figured this out yet :confused: was told this was a good idea though :eek:)
Bedroom (private)
Bathroom use (not private use-but rarely used by others)
Electric will be included
Kitchen use (not private)
Refrigerator use (not private, initial your items, my sister who stops by gladly helps herself to my food)


No shoes on in the house
No smoking in the house
No pets (My three dogs are enough :ashamed)
If you make a mess clean it up...
If you cook or eat from it clean it up
No "friends" over/spending the night
Keep yourself decent, or be in your room if you're not
Please keep doors shut (my dogs have a habit of getting into some things that are open)
Only take what is your...this includes everything and anything
Coasters under things, especially drinks
No long distance phone calls
Doors to be locked at all times, even if at home

Special considerations;

My family has a key to my house, they will and can come over at anytime (mostly weekends) to assist me with my dogs and helping me out while Bobby is gone and even when he is here.

Dogs; If Moosh/Pluto/Aurora are inside letting them is fine (and appreciated) but please let them back in from their doggy door so that their paws can dry in the garage then letting them back into the house so they are safe.

Snow; I would appreciate it if you do no drive on the driveway when it snows until the driveway has been shoveled as this causes the snow to be packed down and makes it harder to remove.

All trash containers need to be put at their highest level when leaving so they are out of the reach of the dogs.

When the shower is in use-do not run any other water until the showering person is done or the water has stopped.

Be respectful of noise and the fact of early clinical days or work weekends and not being noisy after and before 10PM-10AM.

What do you guys think?

I am not trying be be anal but very specific on rules as everything on the internet seemed to say this must be done along with my co-workers and my family :p
 
See less See more
#5 · (Edited)
I have known her for a little less than year now, we have seen every week day since August. I do feel comfortable living with her if that makes sense-just trying to come up with what I was told I should do as far as agreements.

You're really going to try to make that a rule? IMO, if you plan on renting to some one that does not entitle you to control their life. :IDK
What is your opinion on it then?
She is renting a room-you think that having ppl hang out in a room would happen? When I brought this up before she said that this would not be a problem :IDK I charged her less since she said she does not care to use anthing else here and that she only wants a bed to crash on and a shower to use. She said she normally stays at her SO appt but her mom would frown on her not having a "place" before the wedding so basically this is a pseudo room she is renting. I am not trying to control her :ashamed I do not want random ppl in my house though :confused:
 
#6 ·
That's the only one I thought was really inappropriate. If you can't handle the other person having friends over, you should not rent out a room.

The fact is, if you have someone live with you, they will inconvenience you in some ways - that is a fact of life! It seems like you sort of want it all one way, with the other person living in a way that is 100% inobtrusive to you, but are you willing to never have someone over? If they have to go to their partner's house, are you okay with them coming in at 3 am? No wild parties is one thing, but they are entitled to have friends or partners over.

Honestly if you don't need the money, I wouldn't do it.
 
#9 ·
I also don't really agree with not letting someone have their friends crash for a night or so. I think you should say as long as they don't stay for a longer than a period of 2-3 nights (?), overnight is fine as long as she is there to accompany her friend. She should not just let someone give her keys to someone you don't know and have them stay over and such without her being there.
 
#15 ·
I actually don't think it's such a horrible idea, as long as you both agree on the terms and stick to them. I have a bedroom with an ensuite that i rarely use and if my fiance was away for an extended period of time, i would actually like somebody I know to come and stay with me.

I do agree that you shouldn't try and prevent her from having people over, but if you just meant that you don't want her fiance crashing at your house all the time, then I think that's fair enough.
 
#33 · (Edited)
I do agree that you shouldn't try and prevent her from having people over, but if you just meant that you don't want her fiance crashing at your house all the time, then I think that's fair enough.
It was more I just didn't want her to have her SO over all the time, meaning I don't want to see him all the time like he should be paying rent.

I would say instead of "no guests" that if say she wants her fiance' to spend the night, maybe they could let you know in advance.
I also find that roommates/renters rarely ever take your dogs' health and safety as seriously as you do, so that's something to consider.
She told me that she sleeps at his house and that she would only use the room to crash and to shower when he has night classes a couple night a week-otherwise she says she mainly lives at his house :eek:

I would not want to rent from you because your rules are too strict. Whats up with keeping the doors locked even when you are inside?
This is how as was raised :ashamed I lock my doors while I am driving, I lock my house doors-I am also all by myself :IDK Honestly if someone broke in and if anything were to happen I would blame myself a little bit for not locking my doors as my mother told me I should always do :eek: Alaska is not "dangerous" per se but there are robberies and why not keep the doors unlocked :(

do you want to remain friends? or do you want to look at the relationship as more business now?

I've opened my door to a friend of mine for the summer if she needs it. I will not be having any rules, I want her to feel like it's her home too, I want her to be comfortable. I know that she will also respect me. If I wasnt' sure of that, she wouldn't be moving in; I would not offer this same opportunity to most of my other friends.

If there is anything in particular I need to explain, I'll do it when she comes. But other then that, I can't possibly come up with very single rule that I expect to be followed. If someone has a concern, we're adults, we both clearly understand that no one needs to take it personally, but we'll just be open about everything and deal with it as it comes. She can do whatever she wants behind her door, as long as it' not causing damage or illegal. My only "Rule" is that if she is uncomfortable, or feels like it's not working for her, move out. And since we're not charging rent, no notice needed.

If you are that nervous about everything, and possibly missing a rule in your outline, then I dont' think you should have her there with you.
No it is not a business and I do consider her a friend BUT my co-workers and family just said that I really should have rules and that way there are not misunderstandings later and why not? I don't really see what rules seem that crazy strict, most of the things are the way I was raised or is to protect my animals :eek:

I keep my doors locked here in LA way to many crazy ass people running around here.


When I was living in Cordova, Alaska a lot of people left their doors unlocked though. There were only a few thousand people there and it was pretty isolated. Only way to get away was by boat of plane.
I am sure you know Mike, but everyone else may not know Cordorva is smaller and more remote than Anchorage. I am sure some people make think this is a small town but its fairly well sized and there is crime daily just as any other place.


i think it's smart to have rules like this out in the open before you have her move in.. however, i don't think it should be necessary.
I agree 100% with what you said. The list I made up was not this 100% these are my rules and are set in stone. I just wanted to give her an idea of what I would expect. She asked what kinds of things I would expect this morning and if we could go over them so we were on the same page but maybe I should have waited on some of the things...maybe not.

I am the kind of person who it was bugging me and before I commit or let her move out of her room I wanted to make sure she was OK with things before it was too late and that is why I listed the kinds of things I did.

I did just got back from sushi lunch with her and she said that the rules were perfectly fine with her and that she wanted to live with me if I wanted her.



So I have a new roommate come Thursday night :D Until her wedding next July :p

Thanks everyone for your helpful input :)
 
#20 ·
I totally completely agree.
I have cats and they are pretty self reliant but everytime people are over one of them gets locked in a closet or in a room or they almost escape and theyre not allowed outside.
This alone would keep me from renting to anyone.

I moved in with my best friend once and it was the worst mistake i ever made. We are no longer friends and everything we agreed upon went right out the window.
 
#18 ·
^the dogs thing is one that would keep me from wanting to rent out to anyone. We've had several scares just from people coming over for events at our house, and some dumbass kid has left the door open, allowing Honey and/or Snickers to dart out unseen. They can't be trusted off-leash at ALL, but most people don't know them or beagles in general, so we can't expect them to understand that. My dogs are my kids and I wouldn't want someone living there who doesn't know everything about them and how to take care of them.
 
#22 ·
I let someone stay with me a few years back for a few months. I'm a pretty laid back person, but things did not turn out well. Judging by your rules, I don't think it's a good idea to do this. I don't even think I would remember all those rules, with the trash and the dogs and everything. You might want to pass on this.
 
#26 · (Edited)
do you want to remain friends? or do you want to look at the relationship as more business now?

I've opened my door to a friend of mine for the summer if she needs it. I will not be having any rules, I want her to feel like it's her home too, I want her to be comfortable. I know that she will also respect me. If I wasnt' sure of that, she wouldn't be moving in; I would not offer this same opportunity to most of my other friends.

If there is anything in particular I need to explain, I'll do it when she comes. But other then that, I can't possibly come up with very single rule that I expect to be followed. If someone has a concern, we're adults, we both clearly understand that no one needs to take it personally, but we'll just be open about everything and deal with it as it comes. She can do whatever she wants behind her door, as long as it' not causing damage or illegal. My only "Rule" is that if she is uncomfortable, or feels like it's not working for her, move out. And since we're not charging rent, no notice needed.

If you are that nervous about everything, and possibly missing a rule in your outline, then I dont' think you should have her there with you.
 
#32 ·
i think it's smart to have rules like this out in the open before you have her move in.. however, i don't think it should be necessary.

i think everyone should be considerate of other's space/belongings.. (regardless of whether the house is owned by the other person, or an equal rent share in an apartment) it should be common ettiquete and knowledge, but it isn't.

if they are not considerate enough to respect your space and your belongings without having to be told what to do, then you should not be renting a room to them in the first place.

little things like placing coasters under glasses, not eating another persons food, etc. should be discussed at a later point -- this goes with along with respect, as it is how you prefer your belongings to be treated. any considerate person will be able to accomodate things like this, i don't think it is necessary to place that in the lease.

lastly, if she is paying you money to rent a room, i'm almost 100% positive that she is paying you money to have a home. for example, my parents let me live with them for free.. they live a little bit out of the way from work and school, but it is a free place. however, i don't feel comfortable there and i don't feel like it is my home. it's just a place i sleep at night and shower. i don't invite friends over, and feel reluctant to stay the night elsewhere. over time, this gets incredibly stressful and it starts to tax on my well-being.. so i choose not to live there, and pay rent for a place that i feel comfortable at and consider my home.

and since i consider this place my home, i am more likely to contribute to the care/cleaniness of the house. i cook and clean and contribute to the household as best i can with my busy schedule, and my roommates do the same. we ALL want to be comfortable here, and we want each other to feel the same way :flowers

we each have separate shelves on the pantry, and ask before we use something that belongs to someone else.. in the refridgerator, we generally just use as we please, but still respectfully. it's not practical to have four gallons of milk in the fridge, or four blocks of cheddar cheese. if we use the last of/the majority of an item, we replace it with the same brand/size.

wow, this has gotten long.. :p anyway, i think that if the potential roommate is considerate enough to begin with, your rules should not be an issue, but she should be able to feel that your house is her home too, and have the freedom to decide what is appropriate and not.
 
#35 ·
I know a lot of rules but they aren't set in stone :ashamed

She accepted the rules though, and she moves in on the first but just her boxes and stuff since that is not her boyfriends school nights, she will be spending the night at his apartment :rofl
 
#38 ·
congrats on the roomy Mikey, that is a big step :bigeyes and quite a thorough lease :magwink i am sure it will work out for both of you :thumbsup

btw, i always lock my door.. just force of habit and we are in a very safe neighborhood. but sometimes it is kinda embarrassing because when a guest comes over..... as soon as i let them in i lock the door behind them..... and it must be unsettling for some of them because i get some pretty weird looks :rofl
 
#39 · (Edited)
i think this whole rule business could be addressed in a personal conversation. if you really feel that a by the letter contract is needed you may rethink having her live with you {that door lock thing is plain weird to me, but everyone is different i guess}. everyone is different you have to expect things you don't like to happen. that's why you're being paid. you just want to make sure the things you don't like are live-with-able. when i have roomies, if they are clean, can respect quiet time and is easy to get along with i'm thrilled.
 
#40 ·
i think this whole rule business could be addressed in a personal conversation. if you really feel that a by the letter contract is needed you may rethink having her live with you {that door lock thing is plain weird to me, but everyone is different i guess}.
^That's so weird to me that people don't lock their doors. I live in a super safe neighborhood in Indiana and always, always lock up...then again I live by myself and my door won't even stay shut unless I lock it. I also grew up in a really safe, somewhat rural area and we always locked up. If not, you're just asking for trouble.
 
#41 ·
I think this entire thing is being 'overthought'.

Its wise to make sure your details are spelled out ahead of time but the huge volume of words you have written seem as they could be summed up much more concisely.

The pet issue is going to be a problem as stated before.
No one cares for them as you do, and they will not be anyone elses priority as they are yours to mind their whereabouts etc.

IMO if you do not need the money, you should not.
You have your family coming in and out & are keyholders too as you have stated.
This sounds like a circus.
One more person may be overload.

To echo: Your house, your rules.
 
#42 ·
Okay I too live in Anchorage, on EAFB though! I do understand the locking the doors and being safe and all that! I also agree with laying it all out before she moves in! I do agree with one member on wanting her to feel like it's her home too! Some times less RULES are better. No adult likes to be told what to do! If she is a friend then I think you'll be fine! I did laugh at the no driving on the drive way before the snow is removed!! :jumping That is funny! In a good way, anyone in AK will understand where your coming from on this!!!!
Anyway, good luck and I hope your husband keeps safe over seas!!!! :thumbsup
 
#44 ·
About the locking the door thing... one night I awoke to someone opening my kitchen door. My kitchen is adjacent to my bedroom. It was 4 in the morning and I was naked. Some drunk, (possibly homeless man) had just walked into my house. I yelled at him to get the fuck out, but he was too drunk (or too French) to understand, so I had to push him out of the house. Of course he struggled and insisted that he come in by bashing on my door for several hours until the police arrived. The police advised me that under absolutely no circumstances was I allowed to kill him. :shake

Moral of the story: Lock your doors. Naked, bum-wrestling at 4 AM is not fun.
 
#46 ·
Of course he struggled and insisted that he come in by bashing on my door for several hours until the police arrived. The police advised me that under absolutely no circumstances was I allowed to kill him. :shake
Moral of the story: Lock your doors. Naked, bum-wrestling at 4 AM is not fun.
GTFO of Canada
 
#47 ·
Slightly OT, but It seems weird to me that she doesn't have a key to her fiance's place and needs somewhere to rent 2 nights a week while hes in class to use a shower, etc.

Just being a 2 night a week thing, I assume you will run into fewer problems than if she was living there full time. I understand you don't want her fiance to be living there as a second tenant, but be open to the idea of having him over every now and then and the possibility of him spending the night if something comes up and he needs to stay.
 
#49 ·
I am not sure if she does have a key or not...she may. He has a roommate though-not sure how the dynamics are but I am pretty sure that she can't just show up or maybe she can :eek:

It may be more than 2 nights every once in awhile...I was just giving an idea. He is fairly clingy and wants her with him when he is home (when I have been at the gym with her or out at the mall he normally calls her at least once if not twice in that period, once when we were studying for a few hours he called/texted roughly around 5 times-she admits he is needy though)

Long story short, is she comes from a very religious background and her family would not "have" her living with him before marriage, but they just got engaged and she spends the night at his place when he doesn't have night classes (two nights a week-his finals are this week and next so not sure how much she will be here other than to crash when he goes to work) but she really said she just needed a place to store her stuff and crash/shower every once in awhile and she said she would rather give me her money than her roommate who she swears is going through her things (that was her big rule she added to the list-no going in each others rooms/things :D)

I am sure we may run into a few issues, but she loves my dogs (helps me walk them) and she is can deal with me...so all in all I think those are the main things we have to worry about so things shouldn't hopefully come up. If they do, I am sure we can figure it out, since we are on the same page.
 
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top